Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Randomize
