I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
