I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
