i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
FUCK WHALES
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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