Do you still have your period?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
