So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
