i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
