Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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