I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
