i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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