My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
