I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I fill condoms, not promises.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
