i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
