and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
