Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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