Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
