I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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