Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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