The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
