I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
