Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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