I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
