no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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