Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
