apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
being pregnant is like rehab
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize