For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
