dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
