In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
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