That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
