wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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