So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
