drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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