i permit you to call me
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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