So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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