My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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