He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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