I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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