I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
