In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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