how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
