I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
