So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
