you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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