I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
