Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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