She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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