I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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