I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
