"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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