Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
