As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
you never un-have a 4some
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
